Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
they need to just BURY HIM!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
