adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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