I wish you could order shots online.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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