I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Someone shattered a urinal.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
