Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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