FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
