Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
