god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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