You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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