So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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