So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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