when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
