8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
