yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
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I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
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I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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