my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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