i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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