we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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