I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
