Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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