ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
two words...techno handjob
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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