Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
