Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
