Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
