It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
