Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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