I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
