I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
