Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
my poor anus
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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