I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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