First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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