I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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