You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
