I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
