i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!