I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?