hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.