I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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