none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
