I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize