oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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