I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
