Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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