he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
