Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
