i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!