Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I murdered the dance floor call the cops

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  (757): I murdered the dance floor call the cops http://tfl.nu/jwsp
  Replies (14) Good night (2432) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Let's get naked and see who's stronger.

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  (360): Let's get naked and see who's stronger. http://tfl.nu/4286
  Replies (8) Good night (1918) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i wish you could fill a pinata with booze

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  (307): i wish you could fill a pinata with booze http://tfl.nu/eyoz
  Replies (49) Good night (5133) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you

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  (541): you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you http://tfl.nu/5gma
  Replies (9) Good night (4911) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.

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  (909): My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up. http://tfl.nu/4jl3
  Replies (5) Good night (2612) Bad night (1538)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.

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  (505): Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower. http://tfl.nu/q0tv
  Replies (6) Good night (984) Bad night (2635)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?

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  (859): she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery? http://tfl.nu/4aiq
  Replies (24) Good night (6646) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.

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  (307): These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line. http://tfl.nu/f42j
  Replies (2) Good night (1933) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.

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  (510): Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow. http://tfl.nu/c544
  Replies (3) Good night (2820) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.

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  (586): We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate. http://tfl.nu/plc2
  Replies (2) Good night (1922) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".

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  (443): He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp". http://tfl.nu/ico5
  Replies (4) Good night (1913) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis

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  (703): that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis http://tfl.nu/car4
  Replies (7) Good night (1156) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no

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  (561): They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no http://tfl.nu/615z
  Replies (3) Good night (513) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress

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  (989): I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress http://tfl.nu/pd3l
  Replies (1) Good night (514) Bad night (184)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me

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  (905): I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me http://tfl.nu/yn4j
  Replies (0) Good night (414) Bad night (157)

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