Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Tornado booty call.. dedication
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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