In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.