toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet