Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...

  (714): View more from California

  Didn't you just get a DUI last week?

  (818): View more from California

  Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it

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  (818): Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong... (714): Didn't you just get a DUI last week? (818): Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it http://tfl.nu/by7p
  Replies (3) Good night (2696) Bad night (637)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.

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  (319): The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me. http://tfl.nu/ughv
  Replies (3) Good night (944) Bad night (2749)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew

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  (360): i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew http://tfl.nu/ocbg
  Replies (45) Good night (23719) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant

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  (347): the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant http://tfl.nu/765y
  Replies (32) Good night (6119) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"

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  (614): you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers" http://tfl.nu/unf8
  Replies (13) Good night (4586) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted

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  (860): I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted http://tfl.nu/x75x
  Replies (7) Good night (4135) Bad night (632)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.

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  (314): used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever. http://tfl.nu/t3hd
  Replies (6) Good night (1101) Bad night (3644)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.

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  (808): I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup. http://tfl.nu/a5xy
  Replies (4) Good night (817) Bad night (1564)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life

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  (956): Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life http://tfl.nu/cpkm
  Replies (13) Good night (2074) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.

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  (403): We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex. http://tfl.nu/5276
  Replies (9) Good night (1652) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.

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  (316): She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool. http://tfl.nu/dtry
  Replies (2) Good night (678) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.

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  (910): K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function. http://tfl.nu/qham
  Replies (1) Good night (252) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?

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  (250): anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you. (1-250): ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine? http://tfl.nu/1018
  Replies (2) Good night (381) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  How was it playing wingman?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed

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  (847): How was it playing wingman? (312): I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed http://tfl.nu/t31c
  Replies (3) Good night (839) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....

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  (613): He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad.... http://tfl.nu/p0ok
  Replies (3) Good night (197) Bad night (572)

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