Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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