You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
