I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
