If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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