I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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