I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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