It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
