i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
