part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
