i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
