At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
It was confusing and full of hummus
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
