weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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