This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize