You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
