I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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