Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize