then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
