the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
