Sry I called you an 8
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
